Iron Man: Armored Adventures [2011] Season 2. 26 Episodes

Armor for everybody! (except you, Hulk.)

Iron Man and his Amazing Friends! Co-starring "War-man" and "Pepper-star!"

Iron Man and his Amazing Friends! Co-starring “War-man” and “Pepper-star!”

Seriously. Check out Blizzard's homage to Iceman's classic means of travel.

Seriously. Check out Blizzard’s homage to Iceman’s classic means of travel.

After a three-year hiatus, Iron Man: Armored Adventures returned for a second season. It was not a good time to be a Stark. Neither Howard nor his son Tony had much go right, but in the end they did overcome kidnapping, financial ruin, corporate shenanigans, maniacal mutants, maniacal armor wearing morons, megalomaniacal armor wearing doctors, manic Pepper Potts in armor, and oh, an alien invasion.

Does this kind-hearted soul look megalomaniacal to you?

Does this kind-hearted soul look megalomaniacal to you?

Justin Hammer's Titanium Man used a derivative name, but was rather maniacal.

Justin Hammer’s Titanium Man used a derivative name, but was rather maniacal.

The look was even better than season one. The cel shading style still closely emulated Skyland. The number of quality assets constructed for this season was large, yet the French and Indian animation houses produced fantastic visuals on a television budget.

Madame Masque's 1st season episode was strong. This season's not-so-much. This looks like a bad date...

Madame Masque’s 1st season episode was strong. This season’s not-so-much. (Alternate caption: ‘Your costume party date… is unhinged.’)


"How do you keep kicking my butt in those heels?"

“How do you keep kicking my butt in those heels?”

Where season two could have been better was in the writing department. Many of the individual episodes were well composed, but the overall flow, the arc of the season lacked focus. The finale involved Gene Khan’s Mandarin, but the set-up was weak. We see across multiple episodes, frustrating cameos of Gene manipulating cruelly a kidnapped Howard Stark. But there is no development of Gene since last season, except that he is less palatable.

Howard Stark says things like, "We can do great good for this world, son." Gene Khan's mom said things like, "You will complete our purpose rule the world."

Howard Stark says things like, “We can do great good for this world, son.” Gene Khan’s mom said things like, “You will complete our purpose and rule the world.”

Iron_Man_literal cosplay

So the Mandarin's ten magic-- er, 'Makluan technology' rings are actually artifacts from these goofy looking aliens?

So the Mandarin’s ten magic– er, ‘Makluan technology’ rings are actually artifacts from these wacky looking aliens?

Let’s cram season two into a sentence: Tony’s father Howard is not actually dead but kidnapped by the Mandarin and forced to help him acquire more power while Iron Man tries to carry on despite his company being stolen, and just about everybody from corporate big wigs to AIs and even nutjob students taking aim at him, though ultimately unsuccessfully thanks to his whiny friend James Rhodes, bi-polar friend Pepper Potts, and an almost completely reassembled cast of the Avengers movie.

Hulk shows up for the finale, and punches a big alien machine... Where have we seen that before?

Hulk shows up for the finale, and punches a big alien machine… Where have we seen that before?


Sure,, this season's sudden focus on the Avengers cast was just coincidence...

Sure, this season’s sudden focus on the Avengers cast was just coincidence…

Who dons armor this season? (The shorter list would be who doesn’t.) Yes, Pepper does, to our chagrin, corporate nutjob Justin Hammer, Howard Stark, even Tony’s grandson from the future, plus of course the entire armored rogue’s gallery of the Marvel Universe. Even non-armored characters like Magneto wore armor.

The Ghost is still a cool character not easily beat. Magneto in armor? Hmmm. And the winner of this season's goofiest armor is Iron Man 2099. Are those your glow in the dark pajamas?

The Ghost is still a cool character not easily beat. Magneto in armor? Hmmm. And the winner of this season’s goofiest armor is Iron Man 2099. Are those your glow in the dark pajamas?


But the stand out depiction, and the most pleasant surprise of the season was that of Doctor Doom. It was the best depiction we have seen of him since John Byrne’s Fantastic Four run back in the day. A great voice and modulation, and his wacky mix of tech and magic. Okay, they retconned his magic to be “really advanced quantum technology.” It was the only slip up, and unnecessary.


"Kneel before doom!"

“Kneel before Doom!”

It was great to see young Iron Man, before he came into the fullness of his power, get his butt swiftly and mercilessly kicked. He was totally outclassed, which was a nice change up since he kicked butt all season long. Doom’s visual effects were different and exciting. He was not dumbed or powered down. We give props to shows when they do not emasculate the powerful veteran to make the newbie star look good (Huntik also handled this well).


"Check out my cool stealth armor and space armor. Huh? You think the red lights give my stealth armor away?"

“Check out my cool stealth armor and space armor. Huh? You think the red lights give my stealth armor away?”

Iron Man: AA offers a fun glimpse into lesser known Marvel universe characters. Their depictions are solid and worthy of them. We can even forgive the shameless latching-on to the phenomenally successful Avengers movie cast. Tony, in slightly unbelievable fashion, cranks out new armor types to please fans of the franchise. (Most of them, thankfully, retain the round uni-beam.) Overall, it is a finely crafted show still worth watching.

PS – This looks like the end of production for Iron Man Armored Adventures. It was a good and entertaining two-season run. We would enjoy seeing more of it.

When in the Hulkbuster armor, Tony needs only say, "Talk to the hand."

When in the Hulkbuster armor, Tony needs only say, “Talk to the hand.”

"This commute is really starting to stink..."

“This commute is really starting to stink…”

Check out another rock anthem theme song. It rawks:

Check out other Iron Man related takes:

Iron Man: Armored Adventures [2008] Season 1

Iron Man (anime) [2011] Season 1

Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes Season 1

Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes Season 2

Next Avengers: Heroes of Tomorrow [2008]

Check out some of our other Marvel takes:

Green Lantern: The Animated Series [2011] Season 1

Hulk Vs Thor [2009]

Thor: Tales of Asgard [2011]


The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes [2012] Season 2: Conclusion

The 2nd (& final) Season Delivers Super-Heroically

The first season of the show was somewhat disjointed, but showed great promise. We are happily surprised to say that the second season lived up to that promise and then some. The shows credits are expansive, so we shall suffice it to say that whoever took control this season knew what they were doing.

What happened to the Enchantress? Oh, she’s agreeing that this season was on fire.

Oh look, Agent Hill was back. And she’s still an uber-jerk. (She needs to go on a date or something…)

It is not a kids show, although they will enjoy the action. It is a serious show well-suited to adult fans of the Marvel universe. The series smartly called upon some of comic’s greatest storylines. It is of course nearly impossible to do a multi-issue comics storyline in one or two twenty minute animated episodes. But props go to their trying, and for the most part succeeding.

Is Thor free from girl trouble? “I say thee nay.”

Uh, there’s no shortage of powerful females… with attitude.

This season dug into the personal stories of the avengers. Pulled from the pages of comic books, we got to see Capt. America learn of the Winter Soldier story and face off against his arch enemy, the Red Skull. We went through Hank Pym’s draconian Yellowjacket phase. And they did a pretty good job retelling the classic Beta Ray Bill story from the pages of Walt Simonson’s Thor.

“Verily, NONE can wield Thor’s hammer Mjolnir!”

“For sooth! Perhaps I was hasty…”

While the animation is just okay, the art direction is classic and well-done. The voice work is fitting and a lot of fun The soundtrack is good for such a series; listen for the awe-inspiring choral arrangements when Thor cuts loose. We still maintain that this show displays the best and truest depictions of Thor and Ironman we have seen in some time.

Uh, not that one.

Ah. that’s more like it. Yay repulsors!

Of course it wasn’t all flowers and roses. There were too many “evil twin” episodes for our tastes (oh those crafty shape-shifters). The depiction of the fantastic four was particularly bad (aside from Ben Grimm). Try not to cringe when you hear Reed Richards voice. also, the finale was fittingly against Galactus, arguably the heaviest hitter in the Marvel universe. However what could have easily been a two-parter or even an arc was crammed into one short twenty minute episode.

You can’t cram a foe of this scale… literally, into one episode. (We could barely cram him into one picture.)

They did, for the most part, keep the avengers foes on the upper and where they should be. This is, after all, a collection of Marvel’s most powerful heroes. So Kree and Skrull invasions, Doctor Doom, Kang the Conqueror, etc., are all in a day’s work. There was also excellent sub-plots with Hulk versus Red Hulk, and Ultron’s creation, the Vision.

“Red Hulk smash? …er, scheme!”

The “Emperor Stark” episode was incredibly ambitious, and our fave of the season. You sleep for a few days and wake up to this? Huh!?

They had a good grip on the characters, and few were shortchanged. Thor was depicted properly as super powerful, yet did not have to lead. Captain America was rising into the leadership role to which he is so well suited, despite being on the low-power end.

“I’m looking at YOU thunder god.”

The season was delayed. Who knows what is going on behind the scenes. The show just hit its stride, and while not being cancelled, is transforming into Avengers Assemble, a new series. Was this season too good to be true? Hopefully this transition will be weathered as well as Justice League to Justice League Unlimited (although we did prefer the former).

Repulsors for everyone!

Bonus Quiz!

Who is this mysterious character?

  1. Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty.
  2. Darkseid.
  3. One of those Michael Bey transformers… they all look the same.
  4. War Machine

Check out our Takes on All Seasons

Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes Season 1

Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes Season 2

Check out related takes:

Next Avengers: Heroes of Tomorrow [2008]

Hulk Vs Thor [2009]

Thor: Tales of Asgard [2011]

Iron Man (anime) [2011] Season 1

Iron Man: Armored Adventures [2008] Season 1

Batman: Year One [2011 – video]

“Look at my new scooter Mommy. No training wheels!”

What is it that draws us to superheroes? They represent the good and noble. Batman: Year One (B:YO) on the other hand was a one hour and four minute parade of all that is wrong about humanity. You will not find any that are good in this somber, morose and dragging release. That includes Jim Gordon and even Batman himself.

Okay, maybe not Alfred. But he’s the exception.

We are going to liven up this take on a boring, depressing feature with fun pictures of Adam West’s Batman!

Is B:YO based on a comic book of the same name? Probably. We do not know for sure, nor do we care. What may have made for a good comic book -MAY HAVE, certainly did not make for a satisfying video release. However, if you have just filled a prescription for your antidepressant of choice, we have just the picture for you! Perhaps it would have been more aptly named:

Jim Gordon: The Hardscrabble Early Police Years

Detective Flass is 100% the selfish, good looking, jock stereotype. You know he is bad because he bullies Hare Krishnas. What’s next? Nuns?

Oh yeah. How about a pointless fight between pre-Batman Bruce Wayne and pre-Catwoman Selena Kyle. (She’s been hitting the weights…)

Our synopsis in a sentence: Troubled billionaire Bruce Wayne returns to Beirut -er, Gotham City where he finds everything and everyone corrupt from the ubiquitous criminal scum to even the Mos Eisley Spaceport Police Force which are a wretched hive of scum and villainy -wait, we meant the Gotham City Police Force against which a whiny, indecisive and amateurish new Batman tries to right the wrongs along with the depressing drama’s real star, gun toting, bat wielding tough guy Jim Gordon who of course is also morally flawed.

Batman pushed to the limit by three teens with a TV.

Batman and Robin pushed to the limit by using the Bat-run to accomplish a 4 minute mile. (Really!)

Yes, Jim Gordon spends more time combating evil than Bruce Wayne. The latter spends most of this dolorous movie agonizing in dark rooms in Wayne Manor, or whining mournful dirges out in the snow in front of gravestones.

Oh Flass, you are so bad. To keep up with his stereotype here he beats up a teen and tosses him in a locker- er, dumpster.

Lest you think we are exaggerating about the stereotype, here is Flass wearing… a varsity jacket.

It seems few even want to clean up Gotham City. You are given the impression it has been corrupt for a long time, and that the city has accepted its deplorable state of moral decay. And honestly by the end of the picture, the woeful state has hardly changed. Nor do you really end up caring. That city as depicted deserves what it gets.

“News flash: Gotham City sucks.”

How will Batman get out of this one?

There really is no overarching story. Bruce Wayne meanders his way to becoming Batman, but there is little time devoted to it. Most of the time is spent on amazingly buff Jim Gordon, ex-kick butt commando. Jim Gordon who takes a bat to a corrupt police officer. Jim Gordon who wants to clean up the mess that has become Gotham City. And of course in keeping with this perfidious production, an adulterer behind the back of his pregnant wife.

Jim Gordon about to smooch with Katee Sackhoff voiced Det. Essen.

Is Commissioner Loeb really (stereotypically) bad? Go down the checklist: Overweight? Check. Bow-tie? Check. Super smarmy grin? Oh yeah, he’s bad.

If you are a hard-core comic book fan who just loved the comic this production was based upon (or Nolan’s The Dark Knight), you may have some curiosity about seeing B:YO. If you are looking for an entertaining and (even mildly) uplifting story about fighting evil, this is most certainly not for you. There is bad in the world, and evil. However we do not have to, nor should we make it our continual focus.

Check out our other Batman and DC Comics takes:

Batman: The Brave and the Bold Season 1 part 1

Batman: The Brave and the Bold Season 1 part 2

Batman: The Brave and the Bold  Season 2

Batman: The Brave and the Bold Season 3

Batman: Under the Red Hood [2010]

Batman: Mystery of the Batwoman [2003]

Superman/Batman: Apocalypse [2010]

Superman/Batman: Public Enemies [2009]

Green Lantern: Emerald Knights [2011]

Green Lantern: First Flight [2009]

All-Star Superman [2011]

Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths [2010]

Justice League: The New Frontier [2008]

Young Justice [2010] Season 1

Wonder Woman [2009]

Thor: Tales of Asgard [2011]

This production is not for young kids. We are not saying it is as monotone, adult and unappealing as The Dark Knight [2008]. However it deals with adult themes, diplomacy, betrayal, bitter feminism, some womanizing and a few atomizations.

Why so grim Hogun? Lighten up.

That description may be at odds to an art direction more reminiscent of The Next Avengers. Cutesy Thor and Loki have skinny legs and big feet, not having grown into full manhood. Of course that does not stop them from causing man sized trouble.

Odin fights the demon Sutur. Note the size difference. Yes, that is Odin in the circle. And he won this match too.

The opening credits were pleasingly classy and interesting (especially for a direct to home market release). Though to us they clashed a bit with the stylized, less detailed animation. They also seemed somewhat at odds with Thor’s teenage angst and naïveté.

Could Loki's brooding expression foretell a future path of evil? ...nah.

Is the enchanting Enchantress Amora teaching Loki sign language? We know the question you might be asking, "Why did Thor never go for her?"

How about a one sentence synopsis? Teenaged Thor thinks he’s a man but is really a weenie, so he tries to prove otherwise by stowing away on a mission with his younger brother Loki easily finding a legendary blade no one for generations seemed able to find and causing a chain reaction of events leading to some fried frost giants, war amongst the Asgardian lands, interruption of feminist Valkyrie river bathing, some pointless battles and an ending which leaves you saying, “eh”.

Uh... very inconvenient. Unless you can teleport or fly. Great view though.

Could this innocent looking dark elf possibly be holding in resentment, rage and a hunger for vengeance? ...nah.

This tired story really did not have to star Thor. The spoiled prince, some womanizing knights, the fiery attitude filled girlfriend denied being a warrior in a male-dominated society, kingdoms separated by a fragile truce… Yes you have heard it all before. Thor did not do a thing normally associated with the character. He did not use his hammer, call down lightning, or even utter, “I say the nay!” It is not even “Thor Year One”. It is more like “Thor Year Minus One” (because at least in year one he would get his hammer.)

Sure Sif, train with the Valkyries. That will help your anger issues. (Although we are partial to archers...)

Tales of Asgard was not bad. It had interesting moments and is worth watching. However it carries no surprises, earth shattering moments or a very satisfying ending. And some of the teen angst between Thor and his father Odin was ripped almost line for line from “The Little Mermaid”.

  • Thor/Ariel: “But father I want to see the outside world.”
  • Odin/King Triton: “I forbid it.”
  • Thor/Ariel: “I’m grown up, you can’t keep me here!”
  • Odin/King Triton: “I am your king and your father and you will obey me!”

How did this picture get in here? Wrong undersea king.

Asgard itself was a little hard to pin down in regards to its technology and even era. Sometimes it was ancient Greek, other times medieval England. We are not sure what exactly they were going for. However at least the depictions of the Frost Giants was adequate. Unlike the live-action Thor movie, Frost Giants were actually… well, giant.

Flaming swords and frost giants... No, don't try to make it make sense. Just be pleased they were actually big.

The depiction of the Warriors Three was well done. But they are easy and fun stereotypes to work with.

One of the least fun depictions was the Valkyries. Led by Brunhilde, they were male hating, cold hearted, duplicitous, murderous wenches. That is no exaggeration for the sake of humor or wit. Yet another island of bitter females who “throw off male subjugation” with ill temper and stifled aggression. A sect not satisfied until every female who ever experienced a bump on their romantic highway joins their unhappy enclave. Misery truly loves company.

"See how happy I look? Join us Sif and you will be this happy too."

If you go into this production with no expectations you may get one hour and 13 minutes worth of mild entertainment. Even if some of the characterizations are a little much, the overall plot stayed rather safe, although perhaps a little staid.

It was pretty much nothing like this. Talk about violating truth in advertising laws.

Check out related takes:

Hulk Vs Thor [2009]

Next Avengers: Heroes of Tomorrow [2008]

Iron Man: Armored Adventures Season 1 [2008]

The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes Season 1 [2010]

Green Lantern: Emerald Knights [2011]

This ill-conceived collection of unrelated flashbacks flew under our interest radar. Perhaps you were completely unaware of this production as we have seen little buzz about it. If not for our dedication to comprehensive coverage of such things we might have skipped a take on it altogether. But part of the purpose of the Fortress is to warn; to save others from wasting their precious time.

"Hi, I'm Hal Jordan; hero. Take a good look at my fabulously dimpled jaw, because you won't see much of it in this mixed up anthology."

Unless you are a die hard comic book Green Lantern aficionado, this random collection of material will be of little (or no) interest. How many disjointed, irrelevant acts were there? Three? Five? We do not know. We lost count after four -and interest after three.

Gotta collect 'em all!

Our patented synopsis in a sentence? Hard in this case as there was little plot, but we will give it a go for your entertainment:  Gathered to green lantern home base, Hal Jordan plays the most minor role as narrator in a lame attempt to tie together a bunch of uninteresting, alien filled flashbacks under the guise of putting a halter top, mini skirt wearing rookie lantern at ease.

If you thought First Flight had a weak ending where Hal Jordan fought a giant inanimate battery, wait til you see this gem where they sloooowly push a whole planet into this giant guy...

DC continues to make little sense in their mismatched, unrelated, at variance with one another video releases. Perhaps it is a reflection of the DC universe itself. Is this production related in any way to Green Lantern: First Flight [2009]? Except for the cast, no. Is the timeline also confusing? Yes. Last time Hal was a noob surrounded by this cast. Now he is a vet surrounded by the very same lanterns.

"Sinestro? Weren't you the bad guy last time? Now you're... good? (And a little brusque.) I'm a noob and I'm confused..."

This wandering production may bring to mind questions:

  • Who is this giant, weird (poorly explained) main antagonist guy coming out of the sun?

  • Why should we care about any of these bizarre aliens and their out-of-nowhere stories?

"You've got a lot of crazy appendages." "Oh yeah? Well, you're a mouth-less blob."

  • Why do all humanoid female lanterns have pointed ears?

Seriously? This is getting old...

A random story from the Green Lantern universe may make for a good single issue comic book. People who buy Green Lantern comics are dedicated to the franchise. However direct to video animated releases are far more mainstream… or should be. This one was not.

"Look at me mom! I'm a green lantern!"

Also, we think it is natural to just not care as much about alien blobs to which one cannot relate. That is the reason we have Hal Jordan. He is the likable human with an understandable origin we can get behind. He is our vehicle (by original design) for interaction with this alien corps.

DC would have been much better off making a dedicated adventure for this feature, and/or (gasp) a sequel to Green Lantern: First Flight [2009]. This forgettable and avoidable production should have been named:

Anthology of Stupid Green Lantern Stories!

Check out our Green Lantern takes:

Green Lantern: First Flight [2009]

Green Lantern: Emerald Knights [2011]

Check Out Our Takes on Other

DC Comics Superhero Related Media:

Batman: Mystery of the Batwoman [2003]

Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths [2010]

Justice League: The New Frontier [2008]

Batman: Under the Red Hood [2010]

Batman: The Brave and the Bold

Superman/Batman: Apocalypse [2010]

Superman/Batman: Public Enemies [2009]

The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes [2010] Season 1: 26 Episodes

The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes takes some of your favorite characters and reinvents them for its own use. Also reinvented are some characters who are probably not your favorites. Come on, let’s face it, Antman and Wasp are perennial second-tier. You will also get to see S.H.I.E.L.D. as jerks and the Black Widow as cold and mean.

Agent Hill of S.H.I.E.L.D. Also an uber jerk.

Can’t you two just… get along? (And Pymm, what is with that sack? Are you running away from home in the 1930’s?)

The show has some decent ideas but was victim of a misguided launch. We just spent time crafting a paragraph to describe the chronologically confusing hijinks involved. Forget it. Boring. We will say it simply: The first half of this season is messed up and you may not know where you stand regarding the characters, chronology and/or story arc. It served the show poorly. Fortunately the second half got stronger and the end was solid.

We are not going to do a one sentence synopsis because we would have to bend time and space to try to coalesce the fractured plots. We will say it was the beneficiary and also the victim of its own writing. Perhaps some episodes tried to be too edgy and just ended up unfun. Black Panther’s father murdered in front of numbskull tribal dorks; Antman and Wasp arguing again; oh and remember, as a team we don’t really get along…

The Enchantress is a woman scorned. Is that what turned her evil?

Apparently Thor has a crush on a mere mortal, the paramedic Jane Foster. (Maybe it is her perky hair.)

The show also had the unfortunate habit of stepping on its own endings. This is one of our larger issues. You have no time to rest in the resolution of an episode before it is interrupted with a 30 second tacked on downer. This was consistently done and a poor format choice. This was especially unhelpful considering many of the main plots already had weak endings where the bad guys did not get just comeuppance. You can only delay proper comeuppance so long.

The mighty forges of the Asgardian dwarves. (But are they eco-friendly?)

It wasn’t a happy season for Captain America. Nothing seemed to go his way. Oh, and about that indestructible one-of-a-kind shield…

The final Asgardian and Ultron arcs were strong, and did a pretty good job of making us forget how disjointed the first half of the season was. Ultron the classic and somewhat creepy ‘machines are taking over’ story also tied in to Antman’s personality issues.

Ultron: After all, how could a robot that looks this benign go bad? 

Thor is a character with great potential who needs strong foes. In fact the Avengers are the heavyweights of the Marvel universe and really require the most powerful enemies. Asgard can and did provide them.

Thor’s occasional girlfriend Cif (when he’s not eying up the mortals) and the warriors three. (…maybe it’s her attitude.)

The take on the Hulk was the most fun. There was little of the Bruce Banner persona. They pretty much played Hulk up as the ultra-strong, often misunderstood reluctant hero. It was gratifying to see what happened when an enemy made the mistake of claiming they were stronger.

Okay, the Hulk is supposed to be a little irritable, but what is everyone else’s excuse?

The artwork was good, but the quality and appeal varied from subject to subject. Iron man’s armor looked cool and was handled well though not with much variety. Regular looking men like Capt. America and Hawkeye were treated well. Better still were the large humanoids like Hulk, Thor and some baddies. The females could have been handled better in our opinion, and their appeal was underwhelming.

We in the fortress were grateful for the round unibeam.

Okay… So the ice armor had an octagonal unibeam.

While we are at it, why not make some armor out of magical Asgardian metal?

Is the first half of the season worth watching? No. Is the second half of the season worth watching? Yes. We hope season two gets it right from the start.

Loki, Loki, Loki… When will you learn. If only he would use his devious brains for good.

Check out our Takes on All Seasons

Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes Season 1

Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes Season 2

Check out related takes:

Next Avengers: Heroes of Tomorrow [2008]

Hulk Vs Thor [2009]

Thor: Tales of Asgard [2011]

Iron Man (anime) [2011] Season 1

Iron Man: Armored Adventures [2008] Season 1


All-Star Superman [2011]

We do not know if All-Star Superman is based on a comic series, miniseries, graphic novel or none of the above. And quite frankly, we do not care. We are judging this strange direct release solely on its own merits (or lack thereof).

What? Even Lex Luthor gets heat vision? It’s enough to make Batman jealous.

If we were to rename this feature, we might call it “A Series of Unconnected Events”. It felt like one of those disjointed amalgamated movies made from a number of unrelated 30 minute episodes glued together. Additionally some of those unrelated episodes featured weird and unfamiliar characters that had no time to be adequately fleshed out.

Who are these goofballs and why should we care?

“Oh, you two are those famous missing Kryptonian astronauts with the super elitist attitude…” Who? There goes one unrelated half-hour.

Nice hats Kryptonian super-jerks. Picking up TV signals?

“Oh no, it’s that sun- corrupting …computer thingee…” We had no idea what the heck that thing was even all about. Another wasted half-hour.

What the heck? Dropped out of nowhere… WHAT IS IT?

“Oh look Lois, here is a special formula I have been secretly developing that will give you my superpowers for 24 hours.” Huh? Really?

“Look, up in the sky. It’s a bird; it’s a plane; it’s…”

In this segment we also get to meet some fourth string characters that were hardly interesting and made little sense as presented. Samson and some other goofball who made even less sense and whose name we do not even care to look up. Dufus.

Do you really want our patented one sentence synopsis for this gem? Superman helps some weird scientist we do not even know but in the process gets fatally dosed with radiation and is dying so he decides to share his secret with Lois, turn her into a super being for 24 hours, battle some strange sun computer thing, sort of fight a couple D-listers, have a completely unrelated series of interactions with elitist Kryptonian jerks and all the while battles wits with Lex Luthor who seems to have gotten the upper hand in this battle as apparently he successfully murders Superman.

No. Lex Luthor has narcissistic personality disorder?

If you still want to watch this feature after reading that, you deserve everything coming your way. It was not an awful feature, but it was an awful waste. The art direction, music and animation quality were average. The discombobulated story was the part that was sub-par. Overall it was morose and depressing. Superman is indirectly murdered by Lex Luthor? Yeah, Superman apparently dies. We are so glad we watched… *ugh*

So what color IS Lois Lane’s hair?

One of the things we did like was the depiction of Clark Kent. It was good to see his clumsy bumbling, especially when it was used to secretly save people. Nice touch. Some recent Superman features have almost completely glossed over the secret identity portion of Superman.

Although Superman did wrestle with a bout of Kryptonian Rosacea.

Which of the following were not in All-Star Superman?

  • Dr. Leo Quintum (Who?)
  • Perry White uttering “Great Caesar’s ghost”
  • Parasite
  • Jimmy Olsen inexplicably dressed as a woman
  • Some goofball named Atlas
  • Krytonian superpowered Lex Luthor
  • Mysterio

It is a trick question. They were all in it. …Okay, not Mysterio, but his appearance might have helped. “I’ll use my tricks to defeat you Spider-man!”

You know, there is nothing wrong with writing an interesting, dedicated hour and a half feature script. One that is specifically designed to make for an entertaining movie experience. We do not know what this one was based on but apparently making a cohesive cinematic feature was not one of the script’s goals.

“Ultra-Sphinx”? Really? You know DC, this is where some people start to have a problem with your brand…

We surmise All-Star Superman will be interesting to a niche audience, but the strange and dare we say -weird? -self-important?  -sullen? -melancholy script will not appeal to the masses who would otherwise enjoy a solid Superman movie.

Check Out Our Takes on Other

DC Comics Superhero Related Media

Batman: The Brave and the Bold Season 1 part 1

Batman: The Brave and the Bold Season 1 part 2

Batman: The Brave and the Bold  Season 2

Batman: The Brave and the Bold Season 3

Batman: Under the Red Hood [2010]

Batman: Mystery of the Batwoman [2003]

Superman/Batman: Apocalypse [2010]

Superman/Batman: Public Enemies [2009]

Green Lantern: Emerald Knights [2011]

Green Lantern: First Flight [2009]

All-Star Superman [2011]

Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths [2010]

Justice League: The New Frontier [2008]

Young Justice [2010] Season 1

Wonder Woman [2009]