Top Ten Pretty Shots Vol.01

We analyze a lot of media here in the Fortress.  (Amongst all this monochromatic ice and crystal can you blame us?)  Some shots struck us as memorably pretty, but either there was no room for them in the take or we chose not to even make a take.

So here are 10 shots we thought were pleasing to the eye and not to be overlooked:

Melanie Thierry from Canone Inverso.  Not a great film in our opinion, but she sure looked good.

Melanie Thierry from Canone Inverso. A film we cared little about, but she sure looked good.

You may recognize Thierry from Babylon AD.  A film in which we did not feel strongly enough to write a take.

You may recognize Thierry from Babylon AD. Another film in which we were more interested, but still did not feel strongly enough to write a take.

Upon reexamination of those two above pictures we surmise an 87% chance of lip injections.

Michelle Ryan had the bad girl look some guys find appealing.

Michelle Ryan had the bad girl look some guys find appealing in Merlin.

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Reviewing the two above pictures we surmise there is a 96% chance Ryan has nailed the “confident bad-girl smirk”.

While we could take or leave Rise of the Lycans, Rhona Mitra left an impression.

While we could take or leave Rise of the Lycans, Rhona Mitra left an impression.

Katie McGrath is reason enough to watch Merlin.

Katie McGrath is reason enough to watch Merlin.

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There is a 64% chance that Mitra and McGrath are going to start a British trend in female stars with pretty, well-defined jaws.

Here is our take on Merlin Season 1.

Olga Kurylenko is easier on the eyes than her name is on the lips.  SHe has a versatile look that can go both hard and cute.

Olga Kurylenko is easier on the eyes than her name is on the lips. That aside, she has a versatile look that can go both hard and cute.

Here is our take on Quantum of Solace.

Kathleen Mealia stole the show in Au Pair III.  As Senator Palpatine said to young Anakin at the end of Phantom Menace, "We'll follow your career with great interest."

Kathleen Mealia stole the show in Au Pair III. As Senator Palpatine said to young Anakin at the end of Phantom Menace, "We'll follow your career with great interest."

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Despite the high probability of artificial parts, there is a 100% chance that Mealia is a hottie.

Here is our take on Au Pair III: Adventure in Paradise.

Au Pair III: Adventure in Paradise [2009]

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Heidi Lenhart was not in the best shape of her life, yet she still has an appealing look and returned to her more feminine Au Pair I longer locks.

Heidi Lenhart easily retained appeal even if not at her fittest. Returning to longer, more feminine Au Pair 1 locks was wise.

One of the most highly rated movies in Family Channel history was 1999′s Au Pair.  It was a charming story about a widower executive with two kids.  He meets and falls in love with the smart and pretty middle-class au pair Jenny.  Thus he is saved from marrying a gold-digging shrew of a fiance.  The Family Channel followed up in 2001 with the aptly named sequel Au Pair II.  It was good but did not capture the same magic.

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After a gap of 8 years the cast returns in Au Pair III: Adventure in Paradise.  The same child actors have grown up into refreshingly normal looking people as opposed to the skinny sculpted actors we most often see.  The setting has moved to Puerto Rico as a nice change up to the European vistas of the previous entries.  However, the very structure of the plot has also changed from the first.

The first movie was a great story about people finding real value in their lives and coming together to fight a common problem.  Au Pair III gives every character their own unique problem which gives you the feeling that they are all unhappy.  It also keeps them emotionally separated the whole movie.

Newcomer Kathleen Mealia has a lovely jaw. She steals your eyes from whomever else is on screen. Her career has promise.

Newcomer Kathleen Mealia has a lovely jaw. She steals your eyes from whomever else is on screen. Her career has promise.

Former au pair Jenny is unsatisfied in her work and wants to do something more genuine and spend more time with her and Oliver’s new baby.  Oliver is stressed by corporate politics and vision-less stereotyped board members.  The kids Alex and Katie also seem to have grown unhappy.  Katie more so than Alex.  Katie seems resentful, sarcastic and self centered.  Alex is struggling to tell his dad what career he really wants to pursue, -when he is not striking out with the ladies.

A character named Ariana played by the fetching Kathleen Mealia is introduced as Katie’s friend.  Her striking looks (and bikini) leave an impression.  They spent 99% of the movie building up the seemingly 2-sided romantic tension between her and Alex.  Then they drop it totally and inexplicably with her giving hapless Alex the “just friends” speech.  Then why did she almost kiss him earlier?  Thanks for nothing.

It is sad that someone so naturally pretty and obviously slender felt the need to have to augment herself. Maybe those are her real lips, but those other two assets (if ya’ know what we mean) were a little much.

Produced by a group called “Rain Forest Productions” we should not have been surprised by the heavy handed environmental messages.  Hey we like the environment too, but stop hitting us with it.  Why Oliver has to convince the greedy corporate stereotype to go ahead with production of an inexpensive and practical water burning engine is unfathomable.  Like THAT would not be the most revolutionary and profitable invention of the century?

Gregory Harrison is holding up well.  He has an agreeable demeanor.  Remember him in the Logan's Run TV series?  That's okay, no one does (but me).

Gregory Harrison is holding up well. He has an agreeable demeanor. Remember him in the Logan’s Run TV series? That’s okay, no one does (but us).

Finally, where was the humor?  Au Pair 1 mixed the drama with humor and comeuppance.  (Remember Jenny’s first fiance?)  This movie was basically humorless aside from the occasional ramblings of the eccentric writer character.  Where was the montage scene like that wonderful department store fashion adventure from the first film?

The cast literally comes together to solve Oliver’s problem for about 30 seconds at the end.  Nearly all the diverse character’s problems were resolved too late or in a shallow manner.  It takes more than the cast jumping into a pool to put family back into this beloved Family Channel franchise.

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If you care about the characters of Au Pair and what they have done with their lives since Au Pair II, you need to watch Au Pair III.  However do not go in expecting the charm, humor, or even the plot structure of the previous entries.

Check out our take on:

Au Pair [1999]

See a little more of Kathleen Mealia in Top Ten Pretty Shots Volume 1.