Batman: Year One [2011 - video]

“Look at my new scooter Mommy. No training wheels!”

What is it that draws us to superheroes? They represent the good and noble. Batman: Year One (B:YO) on the other hand was a one hour and four minute parade of all that is wrong about humanity. You will not find any that are good in this somber, morose and dragging release. That includes Jim Gordon and even Batman himself.

Okay, maybe not Alfred. But he’s the exception.

We are going to liven up this take on a boring, depressing feature with fun pictures of Adam West’s Batman!

Is B:YO based on a comic book of the same name? Probably. We do not know for sure, nor do we care. What may have made for a good comic book -MAY HAVE, certainly did not make for a satisfying video release. However, if you have just filled a prescription for your antidepressant of choice, we have just the picture for you! Perhaps it would have been more aptly named:

Jim Gordon: The Hardscrabble Early Police Years

Detective Flass is 100% the selfish, good looking, jock stereotype. You know he is bad because he bullies Hare Krishnas. What’s next? Nuns?

Oh yeah. How about a pointless fight between pre-Batman Bruce Wayne and pre-Catwoman Selena Kyle. (She’s been hitting the weights…)

Our synopsis in a sentence: Troubled billionaire Bruce Wayne returns to Beirut -er, Gotham City where he finds everything and everyone corrupt from the ubiquitous criminal scum to even the Mos Eisley Spaceport Police Force which are a wretched hive of scum and villainy -wait, we meant the Gotham City Police Force against which a whiny, indecisive and amateurish new Batman tries to right the wrongs along with the depressing drama’s real star, gun toting, bat wielding tough guy Jim Gordon who of course is also morally flawed.

Batman pushed to the limit by three teens with a TV.

Batman and Robin pushed to the limit by using the Bat-run to accomplish a 4 minute mile. (Really!)

Yes, Jim Gordon spends more time combating evil than Bruce Wayne. The latter spends most of this dolorous movie agonizing in dark rooms in Wayne Manor, or whining mournful dirges out in the snow in front of gravestones.

Oh Flass, you are so bad. To keep up with his stereotype here he beats up a teen and tosses him in a locker- er, dumpster.

Lest you think we are exaggerating about the stereotype, here is Flass wearing… a varsity jacket.

It seems few even want to clean up Gotham City. You are given the impression it has been corrupt for a long time, and that the city has accepted its deplorable state of moral decay. And honestly by the end of the picture, the woeful state has hardly changed. Nor do you really end up caring. That city as depicted deserves what it gets.

“News flash: Gotham City sucks.”

How will Batman get out of this one?

There really is no overarching story. Bruce Wayne meanders his way to becoming Batman, but there is little time devoted to it. Most of the time is spent on amazingly buff Jim Gordon, ex-kick butt commando. Jim Gordon who takes a bat to a corrupt police officer. Jim Gordon who wants to clean up the mess that has become Gotham City. And of course in keeping with this perfidious production, an adulterer behind the back of his pregnant wife.

Jim Gordon about to smooch with Katee Sackhoff voiced Det. Essen.

Is Commissioner Loeb really (stereotypically) bad? Go down the checklist: Overweight? Check. Bow-tie? Check. Super smarmy grin? Oh yeah, he’s bad.

If you are a hard-core comic book fan who just loved the comic this production was based upon (or Nolan’s The Dark Knight), you may have some curiosity about seeing B:YO. If you are looking for an entertaining and (even mildly) uplifting story about fighting evil, this is most certainly not for you. There is bad in the world, and evil. However we do not have to, nor should we make it our continual focus.

Check out our other Batman and DC Comics takes:

Batman: The Brave and the Bold Season 1 part 1

Batman: The Brave and the Bold Season 1 part 2

Batman: The Brave and the Bold  Season 2

Batman: The Brave and the Bold Season 3

Batman: Under the Red Hood [2010]

Batman: Mystery of the Batwoman [2003]

Superman/Batman: Apocalypse [2010]

Superman/Batman: Public Enemies [2009]

Green Lantern: Emerald Knights [2011]

Green Lantern: First Flight [2009]

All-Star Superman [2011]

Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths [2010]

Justice League: The New Frontier [2008]

Young Justice [2010] Season 1

Wonder Woman [2009]

Top Ten (Street-Legal) Theme Vehicles

Whether it be for movies, TV or business promotion, specialty wheeled vehicles have been with us almost since Henry Ford’s first factory.  What we are going to focus on here are STREET LEGAL vehicles.  Not fantastical assemblages of mismatched pieces like the Batmobile from The Dark Knight.  We are talking vehicles that with little or no special permissions can drive down your street tomorrow.

(Not our street of course.  We do not have one.  No, up here in the ice it is treaded vehicles or nothing.  That is unless you can fly… but we digress…)

Number 10:  Captain America’s motorcycle –from the 1979 made for TV film starring Reb Brown.

Are rivets really necessary on those hubs? Using a 1970's plexiglass shield as a windshield was a good idea. Probably will not even slow a bullet down however.

Ahh the 1970′s.  For starters we do not know if Cap forgot that bleach fades colors.  His dark blue outfit here looks… er, powder blue.  But the vehicle was cool and gave cap an excuse to wear that AMAZINGLY intimidating helmet.

Number 9:  The Monkee-mobile from the 1966 TV show.

It is too bad they could not fit the whole engine in the vehicle.

Did you try reading that first sentence on the box? Not well constructed. And yes, the GTO ruled. But do you need to tell us? Does that not kind of take away some of the "in" factor?

Ah, the vagaries of fashion and trends.

Whether it was the Beatles, the Monkees or even Chekov from Star Trek, what is old can be new again!

Hey Justin Bieber, we found out when your outrageous hairstyle was first “in”.

Beiber…  What will he think of this hair a decade from now?

Number 8:  The Weinermobile

Hollywood is not the only place that constructs impractical vehicles around outrageous themes.  Oscar Meyer came up with this design after the Bologna-mobile was a public relations failure.

"Stay to the left of the cones for the giant mustard dispenser."

Can you find the Weinermobile in this parking lot?

Number 7:   The 1966 Batman TV show Batmobile.

This picture was so amazingly cool.  Just look at that shine.  Drive around in this and chicks WILL dig it.

Keep relaxing Adam West. Your Batmobile will forever be more street legal than that goofball version from Batman III. You know, the Val Kilmer one with the 12 foot vertical fin sticking up in the back? Yeah, the one that flopped back and forth on turns...

Number 6:  Green Hornet’s Black Beauty

Whether the 1960′s original or the new movie version, it is one intimidating sedan.

Okay, the car itself is street legal. However this version is festooned with more weapons than the 50 ton M1 Abrams tank!

What was with the 1960′s and all the cool custom vehicles that came out of that era?

Was it a singular time of character for comic book heroes?

What can be said to have come out of 2010?

• Dumb comments from Hollywood actors?
• Teen idol hair doos?
• Vampire Obsession?

What incredible ideas will our heroes come up with next?

What amazing wheeled conveyance will they fight crime with in the future?

Number 5:  The Ark II RV from the 1976 show of the same name.

The premise for this gem? "A group of ethnically and er, species diverse scientists roam the pollution ravaged 25th century in their RV teaching surviving people valuable life lessons..." Its true!

Yes, they are accompanied by a super intelligent chimp!  This could only have flown on Saturday mornings.  Only those under 10 have skulls full of enough mush to swallow this premise without realizing they are being brainwashed.

Okay, there may not be any “streets” left in this Woodsey Owl nightmare of a future. However if some were unearthed those nice big wheels would not chew up any pavement.  (What are you picking up with that dish?  Echoes of Justin Beiber songs bouncing back from space?)

Number 4:    Cars from the 1970 show, UFO.

Is it futuristic?  Sort of.  Is it street legal?  Yeah sure.  Is it practical?  Well, one trip to your local supermarket in this baby will reveal some flaws.  Can you imagine what rogue shopping carts will do to that edge?

Do not forget those far out futuristic fashions. This guy is trying so hard to be manly... in front of his lavender car?!

(Yes, UFO was that sometimes strange show where all the girls on the moonbase wore metal mesh, -and purple widow's peak wigs...)

Number 3:  The Landmaster from the 1977 film Damnation Alley.

The film may not be a classic, but the vehicle has lived on in many other TV shows, commercials and what have you.  Can you resist a movie starring both Jan-Michael Vincent (a guy with not one but THREE first names) and George (A-Team) Peppard?

Oh, we can hear some of you now, "But is that thing really street legal?" Look, its got wheels. Hey, if that Weinermobile is street legal, this thing is too! (We have seen it in person, it is impressive.)

Number 2:  The Nightshade-mobile from the 1990 TV show The Flash.

The Nightshade was a 1950′s masked hero.  His car was this heavy 1950′s boat of a car.  It probably weighs as much as a modern truck.  It was made of a material we do not use anymore in cars, METAL.

Here's to you Nightshade. By putting flourescent lights in your grill and wheel wells you turned the ordinary into something heroic. (And started a trend that would take root in future movies like The Fast and the Furious.)

Number 1:  The EM-50 Urban Assault Vehicle from the 1981 film Stripes.

Sure, it looks all normal and happy pre-transformation. Just another RV.

But the thing can transform like er, a Transformer into an armor plated behemoth festooned with an anti-tank gun and flame throwers.

Oh did we mention it also has a missile turret? For the ability to travel in inconspicuous touring style AND hold off the Soviet army, the EM-50 is our number one street legal theme vehicle.

Batman: The Brave and the Bold [2009] Season 1. Episodes 14-26

We expected more out of the second half of B:TBATB season 1.  We admit that the two-part Owlman finale of the first half was a hard act to follow.  However that was the task set before the producers; one upon which they only partially delivered.

The costume variant hijinx continued. Victorian Batman at the top, and here an older version he wore with Dick Grayson's Robin. Note the different symbol, cape and belt. At this point we knew they were doing it for kicks - but producers should be wary of costume obsessing Bat-geeks.

There is continued homage to the 1960's Batman show. Here are Adam West (Batman) and Burt Ward (Robin) in 2003. Back in action together again in the humorous "Return to the Batcave" TV movie.

We like B:TBATB.  It took a couple episodes for us to get into the swing of it, but we did.  Batman’s well written adventures comprising episodes 1-13 remained surprisingly high quality throughout.  Consistency is no easy feat.

Black Canary is a hottie that can (and probably will) kick your butt if she catches you leering. Note: Batman studiously looking away.

We are also fans of the Batman character.  He is the embodiment of the non-superpowered guy hanging with the big boys.  An inspiration that way.  Through vigorous training, his wits and a utility belt full of bat equipment he stymies even the most overpowered villains.  But we know his limits.

Mongul is in DC's heaviest weight class. He can go fisticuffs with Superman, so we are glad they did not have Batman trying to do so. We like the new take on Mongul BTW, although you do not get too many hugs in an outfit like that.

Episodes 14-26 pushed Batman beyond those limits in certain ways which we feel stretched credulity too far.  (Yes, DC Comics Batman universe credulity.)  The fact that the Batmobile could turn into a transformer-like mech suit was fun, but pushed it a bit.  The Batmobile morphing into the Batplane was a stretch.

Yep. The Batmobile is a Transformer. (We rejected "Batbot", "Batmech" and "Batsformer".

However, when episode 23 opens with an entertaining but out of character scene where Batman in his Bat-spaceship single-handedly disables two huge warring alien battle fleets, any sense of proportion was lost.  We like Bats playing a role in the Justice League, but he is firstly the dark street avenger striking fear into the hearts of “cowardly superstitious” criminals.  He is not the space faring Green Lantern.

... What the--? ...Where did--?! *sigh* A little much, don't you think?

The depiction of Warworld seems to have been strongly influenced by the Superman Returns Videogame version. (This looks a little like our Fortress Takes media room.)

Warworld as seen in Superman Return the Videogame. The Warworld level was appealing and one of the (few) exemplary parts of that game.

Episodes 14-26 built upon the foundation of those that came before with decent albeit smaller roles for returning heroes Aquaman, Blue Beetle, Green Arrow, and a few others.  They play it up like Seinfeld in some ways.  Batman is the normal “Jerry” surrounded by a comical assortment of nuts.

As far as one liners went, these episodes may have been better than the first 13, however regarding the episodes as a whole the writing definitely worsened.  5th dimension idiots and especially dream plots should be used sparingly or not at all.  Authors and publishers have finally learned this lesson.  B:TBATB has not, and even lowered themselves by not only having one, but two.

Thankfully, these two were real.

The first was the most disappointing episode of the season involving Myxlptylk -er, I mean Batmite.  Paul Dini has never disappointed us like he did with this annoying stinker.  The other was the non-finale involving the contrived loser Psycho Pirate.  We do not care if you say the consequences of a dream are real, dreams do not have to follow any rules and they kill a lot of drama because of it.

5th dimension stupidity was this episode's excuse for "Costumes Gone Wild!"

The Kamadi episode was entertaining, but depressing.  Is that an alternate future or is Batman completely uncaring about a horrid dismal future for mankind as mind numbed slaves to tiger and ape men?

Dr. Fate has a revered spot on the "cool shelf" in the Fortress. (No, it is not the "cool shelf" because it is made of ice - hmm, like a lot of stuff around here...)

The Equinox plot was the closest episodes 14-26 had to an arc.  We saw Equinox early on, but he seemed like a pretentious underpowered goon with no abilities but acute luck.  His final appearance in episode 24 displayed him as uber powerful; annoyingly so.  His powers did too many things with no apparent limits.  Knowing attacks before they happen, and even melting Batman’s N’th metal knuckles.  You know how hard it is to get N’th metal?

"My costume is half black, half white. I'm wearing a yin-yang symbol. Get it? 'Equinox'. I'm clever."

The Fate of Equinox felt as close as 14-26 were going to get to a season finale.  It was not the best, but it was decent.  Unfortunately there were still two more episodes to go in the season!  A bad spot of timing old chap.  If you enjoyed the first half, you will still enjoy the latter, just to a lesser extent.

12 heroes power's combined into one awesome mega-superhero. (That is of course if you count Plastic Man as a hero...) It was also the producer's way of throwing in one final costume variant.

Batman: The Brave and the Bold Season 1 part 1

Batman: The Brave and the Bold Season 1 part 2

Batman: The Brave and the Bold  Season 2

Batman: The Brave and the Bold Season 3

Check out our other Batman takes:

Superman/Batman: Apocalypse [2010]

Batman: Under the Red Hood [2010]

Batman: Mystery of the Batwoman [2003]

Superman/Batman: Public Enemies [2009]